


7. Fallout

by somepeoplearewild



Series: Ever After Oneshot Series [7]
Category: One Direction (Band), X Factor RPF
Genre: Alien Invasion, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Angst, F/F, F/M, Fire, Friendship, Good versus Evil, Humor, Ice, Love/Hate, M/M, Mind Control, OH HEY YOU THERE BE WARNED THAT THIS IS A ZIAM FIC FOCUSED AROUND JAEIA, Pining, Plasma aka Molten Lava, Romance, Shapeshifting, Telekinesis, Telepathy, jaeia is obnoxious, oh look another superhero fic where simon's the man in charge, super strength, unnecessary amounts of The Avengers references, zayn's a little bitch
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-26
Updated: 2014-08-08
Packaged: 2018-01-02 18:06:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1059894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somepeoplearewild/pseuds/somepeoplearewild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn is in love with Liam—perfect for him actually— but a girl version of Zayn seems to steal his spotlight with Liam who is ~totally~ (not) straight. </p><p>Oh, and everyone has superpowers.</p><p>*this piece of shit is on hold until i finish the rest of my fic series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I know you're fine

**Author's Note:**

> i don't even know man. i wrote most of it jacked up on benadryl.

****

**"So many things**   
**I shouldn't have missed**   
**The more that I push**   
**And the more you resist"**   
**Fallout – Marianas Trench**

 

Jaeia hates a lot of things, but the one the she hates the most is evil villains who make her sit for five minutes while they reveal their 'genius' plans to take over the world, destroy the world, etc. And the one thing she hates the most right after the other one thing she hates the most is when her teammates fight and cause bigger problems than the ones that they're trying to solve. That being said, Jaeia hates a lot of 'one thing's, and she's about to put a second hole in Zayn Malik's ass for starting a fight with Liam _again_.

 

All she wants to effing do is effing get through one effing training session or one effing mission without effing Zayn and effing Liam having an effing fallout about some stupid shit that only _they_ (emphasis on the fact that they're insufferable) could find a reason to fight about. You'd think it'd be Zayn and Louis going at it seeing as fire and ice don't exactly mix, but nothing in their world makes any fucking sense anyway so let's just go ahead and pitch fire against a real life Superman. And then why don't we place them in the same team and see how well that works out for north London?

 

Jaeia swears to god she's the only super in this team capable of being a man, which is ironic considering she's the only damn female out of six people. Louis, although gifted with an ice-based repertoire of powers, is a flaming homosexual who might believe he's actually a thirty-year-old woman with an affinity for scented candles and gossip. Harry is Louis' bitch despite having a mind of his own great enough to lift an entire house from its foundation. He frequently enjoys bubble baths and shopping for clothes that were thrown out for a _reason_. Zayn, who Jaeia is highly considering pushing into a field of dry grass one day, is quite literally the fire starter of the group. Not only is he the one to light the barbecue, but he is also the one who starts all of the fights... Mainly with Liam, which makes no sense to Jaeia because Liam is so nice and will fly her back to HQ when Jaeia's worn out from training all day. But Liam's so fucking sensitive that it impairs his common sense sometimes, and Zayn's such a little bitch about _everything_ that Liam gets his feelings hurt.

 

In fact, Niall is probably the only male in the group that acts like it even if he does shape shift into a woman on occasion. However, Niall is a lazy fuck and unless the emergency line rings, he's not getting up from that stupid recliner.

 

It's always up to Jaeia to put these dumbfucks back in line before shit turns into ultrashit. It just kind of sucks that there's not much she can do to teach them a lesson besides blasting a hole in their asses with plasma, which she _can't do_ because injuring her own teammates would lower the good guy defence power and jeopardise public safety. For some reason, it seems like she's the only one who even considers the consequences of her actions since Zayn thinks ignoring Liam's directions in the middle of fucking combat is a good idea.

 

Jaeia warms her body like heating metal, increasing her flexibility so that she can stretch the distance to assume the position that Liam is shouting for Zayn to get in. They basically have the same powers, except where Zayn can propelle himself short distances with bursts of fire Jaeia can melt and stretch.

 

"Fuck Zayn!" she shouts angrily over the sound of the giant turbines powering the massive piece of scrap metal that Leviticus (tech dweeb, engineer, well-known villain _well-known_ for getting his ass kicked regularly by a group of teenagers) calls a robot. It looks like he rolled a giant magnet through a junk yard and gave it a name– _the Tonne_. Jaeia supposes it might even be _two_ tonnes... of bullshit. One Direction can take down this bucket of rusted screws no problem.

 

Well, they _could_ if Zayn would cooperate.

 

Liam's shoulders droop for a moment in resignation that there is nothing he can do to get Zayn's help in his plan, but he steels himself once more, recalculating his idea to fit Jaeia instead. "Can you melt his feet to the ground and cement them with lava?" he yells back, dodging a flying hunk of debris from the robot's temper tantrum.

 

"Yeah!" she replies, melting down to a lower height so she has a good angle on the ground in front of the robot. She blasts the road a few steps ahead of the machine so that the plasma has time enough to cool into a hard trap around the robot's feet.

 

Louis then freezes his knee and elbow joints with ice so that it can't move.

 

Harry levitates up from behind and focuses on the metal torso of the overgrown dishwasher. The metal begins to crunch inward like a piece of paper being wadded up.

 

Toward the top of the robot, Niall has swooped down in pterodactyl form and snatched Leviticus by the shoulders, carrying him away from his precious toy.

 

Meanwhile, the metal continues to collapse in on itself under the power of Harry's mind until it is just a ball of mixmatched steel and iron.

 

Zayn shoots up to meet Niall and Leviticus on the roof of one of the buildings. He seems to be yelling at him. The veins on his neck are popping out in that rather attractive way that Jaeia will never admit to looking for on other men.

 

Louis lets Harry manipulate their bodies to the top of the building while Jaeia holds onto Liam and they fly up.

 

"You are going to fucking pay for it this time! There's no bail! No parole! No using destruction of property as a way to get a lighter sentence! I'm gonna make sure that they lock your ass up in a straight jacket and gouge out every piece of technology from the body parts you planted them in! I don't know how they do it downtown, but up here I take the safety of these people _very_ seriously!"

 

"That's a lot of concern for someone who refuses to fight," Jaeia mutters as they approach, earning a grunt of agreement from Liam.

 

"What high expectations you have that the court should declare a just ruling. Truly, the ignorant faith of you supers in the nature of man is amusing however tragic it may be."

 

"Have you ever seen _The Avengers_?" Harry asks suddenly. He takes the silence as a sign to continue sharing. "You kind of remind me of Loki."

 

"Yeah, except Loki is a god with real powers," Liam pipes in.

 

"And he doesn't get his ass kicked by teenagers," Jaeia adds, smirking at the villain.

 

"And Tom Hiddleston is attractive as fuck."

 

Everyone takes a moment to give Louis a disapproving look.

 

"Well he is."

 

Niall laughs loudly as the rest of them groan.

 

[][][][]

 

"Zayn Malik, I ought to kill you!" Jaeia roars the minute the team enters the underwater portion of One Direction's HQ. There's a thick dome of glass over the common room, exposing them to the eyes on the ocean's floor. Good thing no one can talk to fish. Wouldn't want them giving witness reports after Jaeia murders Zayn.

 

"Why?" he sasses back, stomping further into the room.

 

"Why? _Why_?! Because you put all of upper London at risk that's why! You can just abandon your duties! If Liam tells you to do something worth saving lives, you damn well better do it!"

 

"Yeah, well it's not my fault Liam wants to be the leader all the time! Always wants to play the hero!"

 

Jaeia throws her arms out, motioning to their freaking underwater **_SUPERHERO_** headquarters. "The _fuck_ you think this is?!"

 

Liam steps in front of Jaeia as Zayn whips around. "I can take it from here."

 

"Yeah, you _better_ take it from here..." Jaeia grumbles as Niall leads her away. One day, she's going to invest in a squirt bottle and a rolled up fire blanket.

 

"What's up with you and Zayn always fighting?" Niall asks with complete disregard to the fact that she could turn him to ashes in .02 seconds. Jaeia makes a growling noise that causes Niall to back off and walk along the opposite wall in the hallway. "Never mind. So, are you up for a couple rounds of foosball?"

 

"Will you let me win?"

 

"No."

 

"Then fuck yes."

 

[][][][]

 

"Zayn!" everyone can hear Liam yell from upstairs. "Zayn, stop for a minute! I don't know why you can't just tell me what I did! Fuck, I can't read minds you know!"

 

There's no pause before Zayn is screaming back, "Why don't you ask Harry to read my mind?!"

 

"Nuh uh. No way am I ever going in there," Harry refuses, sprawled out on the floor in front of the communication screen aka the glorified television.

 

Harry, Louis, Jaeia, and Niall have been downstairs for at least half an hour while Zayn and Liam have been upstairs, their tones of voice fluctuating as they argue.

 

"I would if I were you," Jaeia replies boredly, already tired of this.

 

"No. He'll hurt me."

 

"What?" she replies, lifting a skeptical eyebrow at the boy in the floor. "He'll mind-burn you?"

 

"No," Harry says indignantly. "He's obviously going through a great deal of emotional turmoil right now. It would hurt me emotionally to tap into that."

 

Louis tosses a soft peppermint at Harry's chest. "Good boy, explaining the obvious. Have a treat."

 

"I take offence to that."

 

"I don't," Niall says, immersed in a game of Hamtaro on his old Gameboy. "Toss one over here."

 

"Goddamn it, Liam! Just stop! Leave me the fuck alone!"

 

A few stomps echo throughout the house, then a door slams indicating that the discussion was ended— and not on good terms.

 

"Someone go get Liam before he punches a hole in the dome again. I'll get Zayn," Louis sighs, already on his feet.

 

Jaeia stands up and stretches, eyeing her former spot on the sofa wistfully. "I'll get Liam."

 

[][][][]

 

Jaeia creeps into the common room, breathing out in relief when all she sees is Liam twisting up... the dining chair. Great. Jaeia can't find it in herself to scold him, though, as she takes in his hung head and tense shoulders. His arms barely even flex as they disfigure the wrought iron chair. "Um," she coughs, trying to get his attention.

 

It works, and Liam turns around. The look on his face when he sees that it's her can almost be described as disappointed, but Jaeia has elected to ignore that little aspect and approach the beast gently.

 

"How's it going?" she inquires awkwardly, sitting beside Liam on the sofa.

 

"It's awful," Liam groans, tossing the chair to the side so he can cover his face with his hands. "I try so hard to be a good person and stay on his good side, but it never works."

 

Jaeia rubs his back, totally not feeling of his muscles because her friend is in pain and that would be wrong. Yet so right. So so right...

 

"Jae," Liam repeats, only this time getting a response from a previously spaced out Jaeia.

 

"What?"

 

"I'm really upset and I need your advice," he whines, Jaeia rolling her eyes at his obvious plea for attention and pity.

 

"What?"

 

"Zaaaaaayn," Liam moans, falling into Jaeia's shoulder pathetically. "Why does he hate me? What have I done?"

 

The girl has no choice but to fall over with the weight of her friend. "I don't know. He doesn't hate you. He's just a big baby." Which yeah, Zayn might hate Jaeia, but he doesn't hate Liam. There's no way he can hate Liam if Jaeia's not deeply in need of glasses. All those longing stares and lovesick glances. It's disgusting is what it is.

 

"But he said-"

 

"He also said the Avengers couldn't beat the original Justice League."

 

"Well, they can't."

 

Jaeia tries and fails to push that big waste of superhero paraphernalia off of her. "You shut the fuck up. They fucking could. They fuckin beat entire alien armies and Prince Na-fuckin-mor. You ain't know shit."

 

"Prince Namor is a wuss. Literally he's a fishstick waiting to happen."

 

"Literally I don't give a fuck. Get offa me, you tasteless excuse for a super."

 

Liam laughs and puts more of his weight on Jaeia, not enough to break her bones but enough to piss her off. The adorable prick knows that no one will hurt him because he's so fucking kind it would be a crime even to a criminal. He also takes advantage of that sometimes.

 

"Remember that one time when I put blue dye in your body soap and you looked like Mystique for a week?"

 

"That was mean," Liam pouts, still very heavy and very much on top of Jaeia.

 

Jaeia growls in annoyance as she tries as hard as she can to control her temperature. She loves Liam, but when she gets angry she's about as safe to stand next to as an erupting volcano. Literally. "That was a threat," she hisses.

 

Liam grins over his shoulder suddenly, impishly. "You're getting warm on my belly."

 

"At least I'm not getting _hard_ on _yours_ ," Jaeia spits, Liam leaping off of her like he's been burned, which he could have very well been if he'd stayed there much longer.

 

Now, there's a crimson blush raging from the tips of Liam's ears down to where the skin of his neck disappears into his soot-coated uniform. "I'm not hard!" he squeals in panic. And he really isn't, but Jaeia just wanted the fucker off her and the number one way to make Liam recede awkwardly into his shell is to talk about his penis.

 

"Living is hard. Are you living?" Liam goes to object her logic but Jaeia cuts him off. "Yes. You are. So if living is hard and you are living, then transitively you are hard as well." She smirks that devilish smirk which tends to get her intentions as a hero questioned by skeptics because no one good can look so evil.

 

"Stop using big words to confuse me– and why the _fuck_ did that make sense?" he says, suddenly hit by the fact that he doesn't know how to argue with what Jaeia said. "Why did that make sense?" Liam asks again, face wrinkled in distress. Jaeia thinks that she can see his brain melting out of his ears.

 

Jaeia sees an opportunity to mindfuck him deeper and takes it. "It didn't, young Liam. Nothing does. Even the simplest of concepts, such as time and matter, the fact that you are sat before me and you are you with curly hair and brown eyes and this is now not then but now that was then— none of it makes sense. No amount of physics or philosophy can explain why or how everything is what it is or if it even _is_ what it is. Liam, there is no way to prove that reality is reality. No way to know if we're doing everything wrong, or if we're even doing anything at all."

 

Liam's eyes are as wide as saucers and as terrified as a homophobe questioning his sexuality.

 

"Liam?" Jaeia laughs softly, the smile slowly falling from her face as Liam doesn't even blink in response. "Liam?" she asks again, a tad too urgently for someone who's supposed to be revelling in his existential crisis.

 

Finally he speaks, a far-off look glazing over his features. "The Tesseract is showing me so much. It's more than just knowledge. It's truth."

 

"You fuckin asshole!" Jaeia yells, lunging at Liam and tackling him to the floor while he clutches his stomach and laughs boisterously. "I was a king! Betrayed!"

 

"Not here! You give up the Tesseract! You give up this poisonous dream!"

 

"I don't get a suit of armour. I'm exposed. Like a nerve. It's a nightmare."

 

"You're a spy not a soldier."

 

Jaeia smacks Liam's forehead, causing the back of his head to thump the hardwood floor. She smiles proudly with the look of someone who's done something good, knowing it doesn't hurt Liam one bit though he yips an "OUCH!" and grabs the back of his head.

 

"What was that for?!"

 

"Cognitive re-calibration," she simpers. "I hit you really hard in the head."

 

Liam isn't able to think of a comeback before the front door is swinging open and Zayn is reluctantly following Louis into the room. He appears to still be miffed, but the second he catches sight of Jaeia balanced on Liam who's sprawled on the floor, he looks absolutely pissed off again. His ears and nose gently smoke as he stomps out of the room with his fists clenched and his shoulders tensed up to his ears.

 

"And I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous, green rage monster!" Jaeia shouts after him.

 

Liam moves like he's going to get up and follow Zayn, but Jaeia presses down on his chest. "Son, just don't."

 

[][][][]

 

Jaeia wakes with a start, the heart-stopping sound of the alarm screeching throughout the house. She groans because (1) Leigh-Anne from the lower London team isn't between her legs and (2) that's the alarm for 'GET THE FUCK UP SHIT JUST GOT REAL' aka the universal crisis alarm. It's the first one that they've ever been called in for, but damn can't the worldwide catastrophe happen at some time _not_ 04:38? Who the fuck tries to take over the world before five am?

 

Jaeia lies there pathetically. She's going to get up.... Any second now... Come on. Who needs a nice, warm bed when you've got a director and probably the British Embassy waiting to shout orders at you?

 

Just as Jaeia's about to get up herself (read: is about to lie there longer and _think_ about getting up) Liam runs into her room with Zayn slung over one shoulder, looking mildly irritated. With no more than an "Up and at 'em!", Liam throws Jaeia over his other shoulder and runs them all down to the basement where the giant telecommunication screen is lit up with the image of men and women in formal attire. Liam sets the two on the sofa, unaware of how degrading and embarrassing his act of kindness is, considering the fact that their bosses have now seen them in their pyjamas being carried like little children who fell asleep in the car during a long road trip.

 

Louis and Harry are already there, sat on either side of Niall. Everyone seems to be perked up and alert except for Jaeia and Zayn.

 

"Is everything in order?" Director Cowell asks sarcastically. For his most promising team, they've sure made quite an unprofessional entrance. They look like a bunch of Yankees going out to fight. Luckily, the Yankees actually won that war so maybe there is some hope for these misfits.

 

"Yes, sir," Liam answers automatically, jabbing Zayn with his elbow when the cranky boy goes to retort something nasty and sarcastic. Noting this, maybe Zayn's issue isn't with Liam. It's with anyone who dare assert authority over the almighty human bonfire.

 

"In that case, we should begin. We've got no time to waste. This is, as you may have been able to tell, a mission of utmost importance. It entails universe-wide consequences. I trust that One Direction will be able to contain this danger and eliminate it. Am I correct?"

 

"Yes, sir," they all reply, even Zayn and Jaeia peaking in interest.

 

"Ms. Lovato, if you would."

 

The young woman nods and presses a few buttons on the control pad, oblivious to the way Niall's mentally licking his chops like she's a juicy slab of ribs. Louis pinches Niall so his boner doesn't obstruct the satellite connection. Again.

 

An animation of a sequence of odd symbols being written into a CD and into a sound file pops up. An arrow goes from the disk and file to a radio tower which shoots off waves of some sort. The waves reach a group of stick figures which become zombies (or whatever huge blank eyes and gaping mouths mean), then the animation starts over.

 

"I've messaged you all the fine details, so we're just going to get straight to the point. There's a company in Hollywood, Los Angeles called Best Song Ever Records. It's a fairly young, billion dollar corporation, partnering up with some of the biggest names in business and entertainment. This company is embedding a secret code into all of their audio files, which are being distributed worldwide and have been for who knows how long. The speculation is that these codes will be activated, and thus enslave the human race by a form of hypnosis."

 

"That's a little drastic, innit? Not enough evidence?" Zayn asks, thoroughly unimpressed with being woken up because old people have finally discovered easter eggs.

 

"No," Director Cowell glares, the animation disappearing to give way to the murderous look in his eyes. "Is this enough evidence for you, Agent Malik?" he snaps, taking the pad from his assistant and punching a button.

 

Suddenly, the screen is flashing with video clips of Zayn doing things that he can't remember doing.

 

"What is this?" Zayn demands in alarm. Jaeia's pretty sure it's because he's been caught on film in drag and exposed to the highest authority figures on earth as well as his crush.

 

"I'm pretty sure it's you in a dress," Jaeia smirks, yelping when Zayn holds his thumb against her thigh and flares a small fire against her skin. She makes a little dot of plasma on her palm and slaps a hand over his nipple.

 

"MOTHERF-"

 

"Enough!" Director Cowell bellows. "This is serious! The fate of the world literally rests in your hands at this very moment. I will put every single one of you in power draining cells if you do not behave yourselves! _Immediately_."

 

Jaeia and Zayn jump apart, instantly serious and attentive.

 

"Now," he huffs, straightening his suit jacket. "That is not Zayn. Obviously. That is a young American woman from LA who goes by Veronica Veros. However, until roughly two years ago, there was no record of her existence anywhere on Earth. The same goes for these men."

 

The team gasps as five men appear on the screen, all bearing uncanny resemblance to Niall, Liam, Louis, Harry, and Jaeia.

 

"Meet Harvey Hughes, Leeroy Legend, Johnny Jackson, Marcel Masters, and Thomas Thompson."

 

"The alliteration totally gives them away," Louis quips, whimpering when Liam pinches him.

 

"As well as their lack of documentation. As far as history is concerned, these six people appeared out of thin air. We have two theories on this, and you had better pray it's not the second one."

 

Director Cowell's face returns to the screen, grim lines etched into the corners of his mouth.

 

"One, they are a band of rogue supers. Shapeshifters who have observed you six and mimicked your appearances. Since Niall is a shapeshifter, we thought it would be wise to assign this mission to your team."

 

"And?" Jaeia asks impatiently. If it worries the most self-assured person on the planet, the second theory must be worse than just a few misbehaving supers.

 

"The second theory," Director Cowell begins in a grave voice. He takes a deep breath to steel himself before continuing. He hopes these spirited teens can handle what he's about to reveal. "... The second theory is that they are part of an ETO."

 

"What's an ETO?" Niall asks just Jaeia's eyes widen in alarm.

 

"Extraterrestrial operation?!" she nearly shouts. "Aliens?! They're freaking _aliens_?!"

 

" _Jaeia_ ," Liam and Harry scold simultaneously.

 

"No, I agree with Jaeia," Zayn inserts, sitting forward to glare at Harry, leaving the glaring at Liam to his female teammate. "If we're dealing with aliens OOP didn't even know about, we're as good as fucking dead."

 

"Actually," Director Cole cuts in sheepishly, ignoring the threatening look Director Cowell shoots her upon hearing that one little word. These kids deserve to know. She can't just let them be sent into battle unprepared. Keeping secrets right now is more dangerous than the war itself. "We _did_ know about a potential source of life within a neighbouring galaxy, but we never suspected that the inhabitants of the planet, if there were any, even knew about Earth. The contact was unexpected and unplanned for, but this is _your_ mission for a reason. Whatever's going on, you've been targeted personally and that cannot go ignored. We won't send you in alone, but we must send you."

 

"Like bait?" Harry asks, creepily calm though his eyes are narrowed rather accusingly. "You're going to send us all the way to a different continent in order to prompt the attack, then send in a back-up team to handle the actual problem whether we're alive or dead at that point. Am I correct?" Harry smiles humourlessly at the guilt flooding every demeanour onscreen except Director Cowell's. He appears absolutely livid as he stares Harry down— Harry who looks as if he could sit there all day under that piercing glare and come out with no holes. "Right then, if there's nothing left to be said, we ought to be going now. No time to lose, we've got wills to write."

 

"Agent Styles, how dare y—"

 

Harry grabs the remote and clicks the feed off.

 

"Harry! What if they had something else to tell us!" Liam scolds frantically at the same time as Louis goes, "Ooooh, you're gonna get so much shit for that."

 

"Simon said he sent us all the fine details," Harry replies cooly.

 

"His name is _Director Cowell_. Don't be disrespectful."

 

"He's sending us out to die," Niall says with a roll of the eyes. "We can call him Shithead now. Doesn't make a difference. He wants to sacrifice us like sheep."

 

"Yeah but the sheep saw the knife but he intends to slaughter us anyway."

"Bismillah, Allahu Akbar."

 

Everyone turns to stare at Jaeia.

 

"Why do you even know that?" Zayn asks, eyes squinted in scrutiny. "Your parents are Pentecostal."

 

"There are these things called 'books'. There are stores entirely dedicated to them and even these great places called ' _libraries_ ' where you can check them out for free!"

 

"All you ever do is sleep and listen to music."

 

"You don't know what I do in my room."

 

"Facebook-stalk Agent Pinnock from that team downtown?" Louis guesses. "What was their name? Little Swirly... doo... jingle jangle..." Louis thinks out loud. The word. He can't think of the word. "... pasta bowl– god I'm hungry– uhhh... record!—tape!—Mix! Little _Mix_!"

 

"I do not," Jaeia blushes. She's going to burn a hole in the sofa if they don't shut up.

 

"Holy shit, look at this," Niall interrupts just in time, holding his illuminated tablet in front if his face. The green, orange, and white case half-covered by his hands as he moves the screen back and forth, to and from his face.

 

Louis nicks it from him and gasps then laughs out loud, handing it over to Harry who too starts chortling. Liam takes the pad and cracks up a little. Then a lot. He falls over onto Louis nearly crying.

 

"What?" Zayn demands, snatching the tablet up. Jaeia leans over to look at it with him. It's just a picture of Thomas and Veronica side-by-side. Beneath the imposters are photos of Jaeia and Zayn. The two share a look, neither getting what's funny.

 

"Why are you laughing? Zayn's not _that_ ugly in lipgloss."

 

"You-you-you!" Niall hiccoughs in laughter, unable to finish his sentence.

 

"Then _Zayn_ ," Louis adds, the lot of them dissolving into hysteria.

 

' **Thomas looks almost exactly like Zayn. And you look like Veronica but less manly** ,' Harry tells them telepathically, not physically able to speak at the moment.

 

Jaeia and Zayn simultaneously shout their protests:

 

"My boobs are bigger than that!"

 

"The jaw is completely wrong!"

 

"She hasn't got an ass!"

 

"His haircut makes him look like a knob!"

 

"Hey, you shut up! Thomas is perfect."

 

"Veronica's hotter than you."

 

"She's hotter than you, too."

 

"Thank you."

 

"You're welcome," Jaeia growls finally, nose to nose with Zayn who is also breathing heavily.

 

Louis pulls Liam away from the two and stands up. "Now kiss!" he shouts, pushing their faces together.

 

Jaeia and Zayn both leap from the sofa, Zayn bursting into flames and Jaeia oozing plasma.

 

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" the girl cries in distress as the plasma begins hardening in a shell over her body. "YOU BETTER GET ME FUCKING OUT OF HERE OR I'M GOING TO ERUPT AND KILL YOU ALL BEFORE SIMON CAN," she roars as fiercely as the sound of a bomb exploding.

 

Louis rolls his eyes and nonchalantly shoots a shard of ice out of his palm, which pierces into the hardened lava, cracks spidering from the impact point before the whole thing crumbles in a heap of ash and lava rock.

 

Jaeia stands there, seething with a pile of cinder on her head, covered head to toe in black soot. "I hate you."

 

"How about we stop fucking around and get to business?" Zayn says, walking towards the door to the elevator.

 

"You know, if we go out there, we're gonna start a war, right?" Niall replies uneasily, a feat for the boy who never cares.

 

Zayn pauses in his gait, back still turned to his team. The side of his face is shadowed as he looks off to the side. "No, they started the war. I'm ending it."

 

"Not if you die," Harry adds, telekinetically lifting Zayn's cursing, flailing body and depositing him on the sofa once more. "We need to strategise."

 

"We need to fight."

 

"We need to listen to the board of directors." Everyone stops to glare at Liam. "What? They've made this decision for a reason."

 

"I recognise that the council has made a decision, but given that it's a stupid ass decision I've elected to ignore it."

 

"Stop making _The Avengers_ references."

 

"Stop walking right into them."

 

"Yep, we're fuckin doomed," Louis sighs because at this point 4 out of 5 doctors recommend giving up over the leading brand of trying.

 

[][][][]

 

"I'm updating your suits," Cher says with an air of finality.

 

"But without OOP backing us up, we don't have proper authorisation to make changes to their designs."

 

Cher smirks as she pulls up laser-projected three-dimensional project blueprints. "Good thing these aren't their designs, huh?"

 

"Holy shit," Jaeia breathes, running a finger along the curve on the suit that's supposed to be hers. At least— she _hopes_ it's hers. Niall would look a bit odd with boobs.

 

"Is this vinyl?" Louis asks, distaste evident in his tone of voice. Vinyl is squeaky and sticky and just completely not functional for fighting and sneaking.

 

"No. It's crisathenium fused with polyethylene and nylon, which translates to the most durable fabric in existence."

 

"Crisathenium?"

 

"It's a metal of my own design. It's lighter than titanium but stronger than diamonds. In conjunction with superhuman capabilities, the wearer of this material is virtually invincible."

 

"Virtually?" Liam replies, looking nearly sick to his stomach. All of this going behind management's back business is more than a little unsettling for him. He likes structure and pleasing people. How is he supposed to get any of that if he's busy being underhanded and breaking rules?

 

"Well..." Cher trails off, adjusting her glasses, pink lab coat reflecting on the shiny glass top of the computer desk in front of her. She whirls around in her rolling chair with a sheepish expression. "I say 'virtually' because one, you must factor in the knowledge of the opposing force. Their technology could far surpass mine. And also it's never been seriously tested so it could just be fire and bulletproof." She scrambles for words as she takes in the skeptical looks on all their faces. "I-I mean the material is definitely better than what you've got now, but we've not really tested it to its absolute limit. It's kind of top secret. Kind of a secret from OOP actually."

 

"So just by wearing it, we would be making a statement to OOP," Harry says giddily. "We don't need them. We've got ambition and we've got a Cher."

 

Cher giggles and blushes, not noticing the deathly glower Louis is currently directing at her. He catches himself and regains his composure. "Oh, shut up, you adorable lump of sugar."

 

"Have you got the prototypes?" Harry asks, ignoring Louis in favour of having an intellectual conversation. The temperature in the room drops a little, but everyone pretends not to notice it.

 

"Better," she smiles excitedly, "I have the real things!" Her dainty hand smacks a big, silver button and, after she says a pass code ( _"Allons-y"_ ), six mannequins slide from hidden slots in the wall. The sound of the air compression system drowns out their gasps.

 

They each immediately approach their own suits. The team's colours are a sophisticated black, white, and red, but these suits take sleek to a whole new level. The fabric looks like liquid almost, iridescent in the light and perfectly moulded to the models.

 

"They'll fit. I promise. The fabric will automatically adjust to your figures. It will feel like wearing nothing at all, a literal second skin.

 

"And we get these cool Power Rangers masks," Jaeia says airily. As much as she likes to deny her femininity, the prospect of new clothes will always excite her.

 

"So," Cher claps. "Let's try them on, shall we?"

 

[][][][]

 

"I feel like a stripper."

 

"You _look_ like a stripper."

 

"Fuck off, Zayn."

 

"Just telling the truth, Louis."

 

"I think he looks quite nice."

 

"Because you want a bite of dat ass."

 

"Nobody's touching anyone's ass. That's degrading."

 

"I'll bite _your_ ass, Harry," Niall laughs, swatting Harry's bottom as he passes by in his new suit.

 

Cher shakes her head and sighs. The fate of the world rests in these idiots' hands. "First things first, guys, remember to use the bathroom and such before you put them on because–"

 

"It's stuck!" Louis cries, unable to shed his suit. He thrashes around trying to pull his arms out. He smacks Liam in the face which gets himself shoved into the floor.

 

"–you have to enter a decompression chamber in order to remove them," she finishes with a sigh.

 

"So sorry about them," Harry says, mentally picking Louis off the floor and setting him upright. He uses his mind to brush the dust off of his friend and also to twist Liam's nipple but no one has to know about that last part.

 

"It's no problem. I've had to work with Nick Grimshaw. That man is a shitstorm in spandex let me tell you."

 

"What else can the suits do?" Jaeia asks while admiring her butt in the floor to ceiling mirror. The material really conforms to her curves, and if she ever had trouble getting a man, it's gone now.

 

"Apparently make you look like you have an ass."

 

Jaeia means to bring up a small bit of plasma but ends up shooting a fistful at Zayn, who ducks just in time.

 

"They magnify your powers," Cher squeaks, quickly dashing over to check out the warped glass of the mirror.

 

"Oi, watch what you're doing, you fuckin bitch!"

 

Liam steps in front of Jaeia, shielding her with his body even as she yells, "I was watching, asshole!"

 

"Calm down, right now," Liam spits at Zayn, a little more tension than necessary building in the air between them.

 

"She tried to blow my fucking head off. I think I have every right to be pissed. Stay out of it. This isn't about you."

 

Liam is in front of Zayn in a flash, pinning the smaller boy to the wall by his neck, not at an angle to choke him but to raise him so that his feet dangle as his hands scramble against the smooth glass for purchase. "This isn't about her either. Get it together or get out." Liam's voice comes out as a low growl, but the room is silent and the sound resonates in all of their ears. He releases Zayn, stalking out of the room as the other boy hits the ground and wheezes for a few seconds. Maybe Liam did choke him _a little_.

 

[][][][]

 

The rest of the week is awkward and tense as everyone manoeuvres around Liam and Zayn, hardly speaking to Jaeia just in case, while they study the files and pack up the jet aka the SHAT (Super Hero Action Transit). The SHAT is more than just a jet. It's anything that the team needs to get from point A to point B, but right now it's a jet.

 

"All aboard!" Niall hollers _Mr. Conductor_ style as he puts himself in the pilot's seat. Really he's the only one qualified to operate the thing seeing as he designed it himself, even if the SHAT is a self-operating machine, managed only partially from some remote location by that weird Josh lad.

 

"Get outta my fucking way, I called right-hand! I fucking called it!" Louis grunts, trying to squeeze his way past Jaeia onto the ship.

 

Liam picks the two up by the backs of their collars and carries them in, setting each in the chairs on either side of Niall.

 

Jaeia haughtily sticks her tongue out at Louis who freezes it. "Careful making those faces, love. They could get stuck."

 

Jaeia defrosts her tongue as Zayn, Harry, and Liam take their seats in that order. Liam is behind Jaeia so she turns around and twinkles her fingers at him. "Hey, bae."

 

"Hey, Jae," he giggles. Giant school girl, he is.

 

"Hey, Zay," Louis says to Zayn in a mocking tone.

 

Zayn doesn't even spare Louis a glance as the boy's shoulder catches fire.

 

What a lovely start to the end of their lives.


	2. but what do i do

****

**_"Don't tell me to fight_ **  
**_To fight for you_ **  
**_After this long I shouldn't have to_ **  
**_I know you're fine_ **  
**_But what do I do"_ **  
**Fallout – Marianas Trench**

  
"California knows how to party."  
  
The guys all groan as Niall starts up again.  
  
"How long are you planning on singing that?" Louis moans, wiping the sweat off his forehead. It's _hot_ in Los Angeles, and these suits under their clothes do nothing to soothe the heat.  
  
"I dunno," he shrugs, steering the SHAT, now in car form, onto the freeway. "Until I die, so probably for a few more hours."  
  
"I volunteer to die first. Anything to not have to hear that song again." Jaeia waves a floppy hand, her bangs matted to her forehead with sweat. The climate is hot even for her.  
  
"I'll kill you if you kill me," Zayn gasps, reaching over Harry to slap pitifully at her knee. When he has her attention, he holds his fist up and she taps it weakly.  
  
"It would be my genuine pleasure."  
  
"Stop quoting Clint Barton."  
  
"Don't tell us what to do, Liam," Zayn says without his usual snap because it is fucking hot.  
  
"Quit your goddamn moaning," Niall says, pausing in his song to roll his eyes. "We'll fill up the tank then we can use the AC."  
  
"Unless we all melt first," Louis whines.  
  
Harry smooths his sweaty hair back into two pigtails. He looks like an idiot—an adorable idiot— but an idiot nonetheless. "It's not that bad."  
  
"Shut up, Pippy. We don't need that kind of positivity."  
  
"Hold the fuck up–" Harry says suddenly, giving Louis one of his _looks_ , the look that says he's just realised something he's going to hold against him forever. "Your powers are ice."  
  
Something lights up in Louis' eyes. "Oh _yeah_!"  
  
Niall slams his fist on the horn, scaring the drivers around him. "Goddamn it, Louis." He eyes Louis through the rear view mirror before shaking his head and sighing again. "Goddamn it."  
  
"Don't bite the dick that feeds you."  
  
"Can I set the dick on fire and piss on the ashes?"

“Rude.”

  
  
[][][][]

  
  
The team has been standing here, on the step in front of the portal to the LA team's headquarters for about ten minutes now. No one is answering the door and they've resorted to letting Louis and Liam tap out obnoxious beats using the door and the doorbell.  
  
"Liam," Jaeia drawls sweetly in her Southern Belle voice, batting her eyelashes and everything. The boy looks up from the green-painted door with a childishly disarming expression. "I will touch your genitals with molten lava if you do not use your big, manly muscles to tear that doorknob off right now."  
  
"But what if they have an alarm?"  
  
"Molten lava."  
  
The door swings open suddenly, and Liam trips backwards into the bush.  
  
"Sorry," Harry grins from the back of the group. "I was– and it– yeah... yeah."  
  
Louis smacks a kiss on Harry's pink-tinted cheek while the rest of the team groans and goes to walk in the house— well the _sort of_ house. On the outside it looks completely normal, but it probably runs several floors deep into the ground.  
  
"You know," Niall says, cautiously stepping over the threshold, "Rule number one of horror films: Never go in a house with a door that opens itself."  
  
"Oh shut up," Zayn grunts. The door slams shut, causing everyone to jump. Zayn grasps his heart and backs into Liam.  
  
"Sorry again," Harry smirks. "I had to."  
  
Zayn looks up and notices who he's pressed up against. His and Liam's eyes meet awkwardly before they move apart mumbling apologies. And it's fucking stupid, Jaeia thinks, that Liam apologises for Zayn touching him. Like fuck, he was asking you for protection; wrap your arms around him and hold that nigga tight, do a Ke$ha and wrap him up in your love.  
  
"Look at this!" Liam shouts excitedly from where he's wandered off to.  
  
Jaeia quickly moves into the dining room, finding Liam and a table of scattered papers and half-drunk coffees. The papers look haphazardly shredded, the pieces strewn about the room. Jaeia grabs a scrap of the paper and turns it over. There are scribbled words in messy writing, severed at the rip.

  
 _Possible alien invas-_  
 _using mind control t-_  
 _Public safety is at r-_  
 _very dangerous, very-_  
 _highly likely that Ear-_  
 _is no way to stop th-_  
 _are coming. Send h-_

  
"This looks like the code from the video," Harry says, holding his own piece of paper with a cinched brow.  
  
"I think they have more info on this than OOP."  
  
"Guys..." Jaeia breathes uneasily. "Guys, I think we should go."  
  
"Why?" Liam asks, adorably oblivious but now is not the time.  
  
She slowly turns to check the open doorway behind her, paranoia seeping into her veins.  
  
"What's wrong?" Zayn demands.  
  
"They know we're here."

  
[][][][]

  
"Fuck! That could have been a trap!" Zayn steams as he stomps around their hotel room. "And we walked right into it because we're fucking idiots! Stupid, fucking stupid!"  
  
Jaeia rolls her eyes despite the pit of alarm growing in her stomach. "Well we missed the trap so shut up about it."  
  
"It was probably set up in one of the lower levels," Harry thinks aloud. "Because they thought we'd go looking there for help or information or something."  
  
"They overestimated that one. We're not nearly that on point," Louis scoffs.  
  
"But that means that they've planned their defences for a force much stronger than ours. It will be harder on us, if not devastating."  
  
"They probably know all of our powers too," Louis whines.  
  
"Well," Harry inserts guiltily. "Not _all_ of our powers."  
  
Niall rolls over on the floor to face Harry with a concerned look. "Whatchu talkin bout, Willis?"  
  
"I've been noticing weird things. You know, we're all still fairly young so our powers have yet to.. err.. develop completely I guess. And I've been noticing weird... _things_... happening with mine?"  
  
"What do you mean by 'weird'?"  
  
Harry sighs and rubs the knees of his pants. "I..." He pauses to collect his thoughts. "... I think I can project sound into other people's minds."  
  
" _Wow_ , how _fascinating_. A telepath that can communicate telepathically. What a shock," Niall replies sarcastically. Honestly, if Harry is the smartest of the group, then the rest of them must be brain dead.  
  
"Shut up," Harry glares defensively. "I mean that I can make someone else hear exactly what I'm hearing. And I also think I found a way to temporarily link up our minds so you all can communicate with each other so fuck you, Niall, in your face."  
  
"Do it," Jaeia demands, then thinks of the worst thing she can think of.  
  
Suddenly, Zayn shouts and starts banging his head with his hands to get the thought out of his mind. "Why do you even know what that looks like?!"  
  
"You don't know what I do in my room," Jaeia smiles, giving Harry, who also looks a bit uneasy, a thumbs up. "Well done. Ten out of ten. Would recommend."  
  
"You're fucking sick."  
  
 _"At least I'm not love sick,"_ Jaeia thinks, mouth dropping when Zayn snaps his head up to look at her in way that could only be described as being caught red-handed. "He can still hear me?!" she squeals rather loudly.  
  
The guys cringe, and Harry nods. "Yeah, I don't know how to turn it off. I just remembered that. I should have warned you. Sorry."  
  
 _"Fucking tell Liam already. This is getting ridiculous,"_ Jaeia thinks in exasperation at Zayn and his unwillingness to just go for it. She waits a beat but hears nothing back. "Wait, why can he hear my thoughts, but I can't hear his?"  
  
"I'd have to connect your mind to his as well for that to work, but I don't think you want to go there. Remember what I said?"  
  
"Oh. Yeah, I do."  
  
"Just so you know, I told you to fuck off."  
  
"Just so you know, I'm not going to."  
  
"Just so you know, I don't care. Can you connect me with a slice of pizza? Cos I'm starvin, mate."

  
[][][][]

  
  
The first one goes off at 22:06, the night sky lighting up with fire from the explosion.  
  
Liam runs out onto the balcony in alarm and watches the colours erupt in the sky. Fireworks. He sighs in relief. It's just fireworks. Not bombs or something.  
  
"Why are there fireworks this late?" Louis asks, as he wanders outside, followed by Zayn.  
  
"Why are there fireworks at all?"  
  
"It's prolly from Disneyland!" Niall crows happily, dragging Jaeia onto the balcony by her elbow.  
  
"Disneyland is in Anaheim. That's like, way far away, dude," she informs him while rolling her eyes.  
  
Another one goes off, this time from a different location.  
  
Harry stumbles into the warm, summer air with a confused expression.  
  
"That looked like a lot of work," Louis pipes up, now moved to stand beside Harry.  
  
"What?" Harry asks.  
  
"To arrange all those rockets to make that triangle thingy."  
  
"What triangle thingy?" Harry and Jaeia both ask in alarm.  
  
"You know, the one," Louis says earnestly, pointing vaguely to the sky where the red had flashed seconds ago. "The upside down triangle thingy with the lines around it like shiny Jesus and the circle aimy thing in it. What's that thing you use to aim a gun? That circle with the plus sign or whatever?"  
  
Harry's eyes widen in alarm. He dashes back into the room and grabs his tablet, tapping it urgently. He comes back and shoves it into Louis' hands. "Did it look like this?"  
  
"Yeah! Yeah it... shit. This is bad."  
  
"What are they doing? Are they shooting signals to each other?" Liam asks with that panicky look in his eyes.  
  
"No," Jaeia sighs. "They're warning us. Like firing a maroon. How many times was that?”

“Three… Why does it matter?”

 “Three signals a fall out. The battle begins tomorrow. Be there or be square, yo."  
  
"There's about to be some wack combat up in this hoedown, home skillet."  
  
"Never again, Niall. Never again."  
  
"Well," Harry says, clapping his hands, "Best head off to bed and get some rest. We're gonna need our full stamina to be able to last this war."

[][][][]

  
The team all mutually wake up at six to the fire alarm ringing loudly in the building across the road.  
They all suit up and dash across the street, ignoring the gawking civilians. There are times and places for that whole 'secret undercover' thing, but now is not one of them. This is a universal crisis, and these people need to know that there is a force out there to keep them safe. Besides, if government testing facilities ever got their hands on a super, they wouldn't know how to contain one.  
  
There doesn't appear to be any signs of fire inside the building. The air is light and clear, and the temperature is average. However calm it may be, the team knows better than to assume that it's a false alarm.  
  
A mother rushes through the door to the stairwell and into the lobby, yanking a child behind her. She takes one look at the supers and brushes past them, all the while scolding the boy whose arm she's using as a leash. "How dare you pull that alarm, Benjamin James Tyler! I ought to kill you!"  
  
The boy allows himself to be dragged, eyes void of emotion. As they pass through the group, his soulless gaze locks on Zayn's eyes, his head pivoting to keep the connection until he's exited the building.  
  
Zayn narrows his eyes at the place where the boy had been. "That was weird," he says once the boy is gone.  
  
"It's begun," Harry sighs. "And we've already halfway fallen for their first trap."  
  
"Then we need to get out of the building!"  
  
"No," Harry replies, pulling Louis back. "They don't mean to harm us yet. They mean to blow our cover. Bad stuff is about to happen, and if we're the only unexplainable element in the equation, who do you think will be blamed for what's about to transpire? Humans fear what they cannot explain, and we'll be targeted, unable to fight what we are trying to defend. These aliens know our nature, vigilant yet often rash. They will try to use it against us. They see this as a game of strategy that they are bound to win, luckily I was the captain of our chess team back at the school."  
  
Jaeia facepalms. "Fuck. You had that whole awesome speech going then you end it with that."  
  
Niall bursts out laughing and claps Harry on the shoulder while the other boy scowls, offended.  
  
"Just don't use your powers until actual danger, okay. Let's go out the back before the firemen come in to get us."  
  
"No, I think we need to have a word with that kid," Zayn mutters, still staring at the door.  
  
"Right after he gets through having a chat with the firemen, and probably the cops now, and his mother." Niall takes Zayn by the arm and follows the rest of the team out the side door.

  
[][][][]

  
  
"I'm hooking up everyone's minds now," Harry states as everybody mingles around the hotel room, covering up their suits with street clothes.  
  
 _Oh shit_ , Zayn hears Jaeia think. He's become pretty good at blocking her out, but he's never been particularly strong when it comes to surprises (like how set the curtains on fire at his 18th birthday). Hell, Jaeia would be shit scared too if she was hiding a slightly obsessive romantic interest in her (ex?) best friend and coworker from said (ex?) best friend and coworker who was about to be able to read her thoughts. Yeah, that's a pretty shit position to be in.  
  
Louis seems a little startled too, but he's far better at masking his emotions so his only sign of fear is a hitch in his breath and a stutter of the hands that're smoothing Caribbean Breeze hand cream into his skin. (He wouldn't want his hands to get chapped in the new gloves when he uses them since he hasn't broken them in yet wah wah fuckin wah.)  
  
"Do you _really_ want to hear Zayn's thoughts?" Louis puts in with a raised eyebrow. He tosses the little blue tub into his bag, then gives Harry a pointed look. "Do you?"  
  
Harry sighs unsurely despite the resolution in his voice. "Not particularly–"  
  
"I didn't want you to hear my thoughts anyway, you prick."  
  
"–but," Harry continues, sparing Zayn naught but a roll of the eyes. "It's our best bet at surviving this. Chances are they're gonna split us up, using that disunity to cause weakness and confusion, so we need to do whatever it takes to stop that from happening but be prepared in case it does."  
  
"He's right," Liam adds, a meaningful look directed at Louis and Zayn.  
  
 _Unfortunately_ , Zayn hears in his mind.

[][][][]

  
Jaeia's picking up apple juice at the corner store of all times and places when it happens.  
  
She turns around and, across the rows of junk food and batteries, a set of familiar eyes rise and meet her own, glaring a reflection of the smirk on the dark pink lips she's known all her life. But like looking in a mirror then glancing away, both vanish in an instance.  
  
 _J: Sighting at the corner Citgo. It looked planned._  
  
H: Fuck. Everyone get to the hotel. Now.

[][][][]

  
  
"So he just vanished? Into thin air?"  
  
"Yes," Jaeia groans, confirming her answer to the same question for the ninetieth time. "That's what it goddam seemed. I'm not saying it again. He was there then he wasn't."  
  
"This is bad," Liam says.  
  
" _Nooo_... _Really_?? Evil aliens invading Earth wasn't bad before, but now that they can disappear–"  
  
Harry sharply cuts off Zayn's sarcastic assholery. "Yes, Zayn! This is one hundred times worse! It could mean a million things that pretty much doom us! One, a disappearing opponent is going to make for a fantastic fight! Two, even worse, a teleporting opponent! Three, a time warping opponent! Four, an opponent with super speed! Or _five_ — and god forbid this shit be the case— we're up against someone who has memory altering abilities in which case we're royally fucked! So, yeah, Zayn! An exponential increase in shit factor!"  
  
"You needa chill, mate." Niall holds up his hand at Harry before he can yell at Niall about the direness of the situation. "Seriously, nothin' good'll come outta losing your cool. Now, if you two ladies are done bickerin, perhaps we'd like to investigate the scene," Niall finishes.

  
[][][][]

The gas station is back to normal so it seems. Of course the team knows better than to assume.  
  
They have Liam ask for the security tapes for 'nondisclosable reasons' (the cashier thankfully doesn't notice the word Liam makes up) while Liam flashes his police badge forged by OOP for intel operations. It's so _Supernatural_ that it makes everyone feel 500% more badass.

Surprisingly, the owner of the gas station isn’t as big of a dick as her son. Once she’s been assured that her son hasn’t gotten into trouble with the law _again_ , she copies the files to a disc and hands it over no problem.

When Liam gets outside, everyone grabs at the DVD in his hand.

“Let me have it!”

“Why do _you_ get to have it?”

“Because it’s important that’s why.”

“I think I should have it.”

“Just give the fucking thing to me,” Jaeia demands, swiping at the ring of polycarbonate.

Liam dodges her swing and promptly tucks the disc into the inner pocket of his costume’s blazer. “Alright, whatever’s on this file is probably worth more to OOP and this entire planet than we are, so I say since I was the one who ballsed up and actually got the thing, I’m going to hold onto it.”

“But that’s not fair-”

Harry places a hand on Louis’ shoulder, silencing everyone’s protests with his signature ‘let’s be logical’ look, which amps up the _Supernatural_ vibe because it only makes him look like Sam Winchester with his soulful moose eyes. “Liam should carry it; I’m too clumsy, Niall and Louis are too rowdy, and Zayn and Jaeia would probably end up melting it—no offence, guys.”

“None taken.”

“This is true.”

“Now that that’s settled, let’s get back before something else happens.”

[][][][]

“Well that was a bust.” Jaeia walks over to the bed and collapses beside Liam and Louis, leaving Niall and Harry still hunched over the laptop screen at the desk in the hotel room.

“There has to be something here,” Harry mumbles as he signals for Niall to replay the clip again.

Niall sighs but does it anyway. “We’ve watched it at least a hundred times. There’s only so much you can expect to get from a crappy security recording. We’re lucky to’ve even caught the bastard on camera at all.”

“No, no. There has to be something here. This can’t be it. One second he’s there and then he disappears just like that without a clue as to how? You can’t just accept that, can you?”

“What else have we to do, Harry?” Louis asks, resignation clear in his voice. “The only information we have to go on are the bits and pieces we received from OOP, and even that’s probably incorrect considering our source is a twat factory. There’s probably a better chance of the world not being hijacked by aliens if we just do our duty as bait.”

Harry twists around in his chair, a sudden indignant fury ignited inside him. He gives Louis a sad glare as if allowing Louis a moment to redeem himself by seeing the disappointment in Harry’s eyes before Harry has to have a certain conversation with the last person he ever expected to need it. The look only lasts a split second, but Harry knows Louis catches it and purposely doesn’t take the out. His words come out much harsher than the group has ever heard Harry speak to—well, anyone really.

“So that’s it, then? We’ve trained our childhoods away, put blood and broken bones into defending not only faceless crowds of people but also each other so that we could continue saving lives, and you’re telling me that we aren’t supposed to be heroes, but worms on a hook?”

“Newsflash! We don’t have a plan; they do. So yeah, maybe they might just be a little more qualified to save the fucking planet.”

 “And you’re just going to give up that easily because they might have a plan, which might I add we have never even heard?”

“Of course it’s not fucking easy!” Louis replies, straightening up from his previously reclined position.

“Yes, Louis, it is! That’s the easy way out! But we have a chance to do something about this. Even those _things_ out there want us to put up a fight. Don’t you think for a second they don’t know _exactly_ where we are because they do, and I have a feeling that when they come for us they’re not gonna kill us. They’re going to use us as weapons against the side that includes our families. So you have two options right now: hurt the people you love or protect them with everything you’ve got.”

Louis stays quite for a while.

“Come on, Louis,” Jaeia says softly. “Zayn’s supposed to be the dick of the group; not you.”

“Yeah,” Zayn agrees before furrowing his eyebrows as her words register. He gives Jaeia a look.

Louis looks down at his lap. “What are we supposed to do to protect them?”

“Try,” Liam answers, placing a comforting hand on his friend’s shoulder. “A great man once said, ‘Until such time that the world has ended, we will continue to act as though it intends to spin on.’”

Louis can’t help but crack a grin as he looks up at Liam. “Nick Fury said that as he manipulated a group of superheroes into finding a source to power weapons in a dick measuring contest between worlds. What part of that makes him a great man?”

“The part where instead of letting his authority figures nuke a city, he undermined them and warned the heroes and ended up saving the entire planet.”

“So does that mean Cheryl is Nick Fury?” Liam asks in confusion.

“No,” Louis grins wickedly. “It means we have a fucking planet to save.”

“Um, I hate to ruin the effect of your badass line or whatever, but you need to see this,” Niall adds, finally looking up from the computer screen. Everyone huddles around Niall as he presses play.

The video shows the owner’s son leave his position at the register and fiddle with something beyond the scope of the camera. Niall pauses the video as the man’s returning.

“Where did that footage come from?” Harry asks instantly.

Niall gives Harry a look. “All that brain and you didn’t fuckin think to pay attention to the rest of the footage.”

“What’s that?” Zayn points to the guy’s hand which is clasped around a little triangular device.

Niall zooms in. “At first I thought it was nothing, but then I realised I’ve seen it before. Remember when we visited Cowell’s office that one time?”

“You mean the only time?”

“Yeah. While you guys were actually paying attention, I was looking at the shit on his desk because the man is a fucking mystery right. He had one of those things sitting right there on his desk, and I remember because it had a bunch of weird markings on it and one looked like a vagina.”

Everyone gives him a ‘really, Niall, really’ look.

“Shut up,” he says looking a tad embarrassed. “The point is those markings looked a hell of a lot like the ones from our dear alien friends.”

“This is great news!” Liam cheers. “So what did it do?”

“I dunno.”

“Well what did it look like?”

“I dunno.”

“Thanks, Niall. I’m glad we had this talk,” Jaeia says sarcastically.

“I’m sorry, I just remembered something seemingly insignificant from two years ago. Now tell me what you remember about that day.”

“I made out with Dave.”

“Wait you mean Mr. Franco?”

Jaeia nods happily.

“Gross he was our fucking teacher!”

“He was my fucking teacher too,” she smirks dirtily.

All the guys groan in disgust.

“What can I say?”

“Nothing. You can shut the fuck up and never speak again. Now back to the situation at hand…”

[][][][]

Harry takes it upon himself to wake up everyone the next morning by planting atrocities in their dreams. It is a necessary evil, he believes. They have to be woken up somehow. He pretends to not know anything as they all gather on a single bed, scared wide awake.

“I have a plan…”

A few minutes later, Zayn has come to a conclusion.

“This is a dumb fucking plan,” Zayn gripes.

“Do you have any better ideas?”

Zayn narrows his eyes at Harry. “We can’t just destroy the antennae. They’re not going to let us even close to them.”

“Exactly. If we split up, then they’ll split up. In the time it would take them to team up against us and take us out one by one, the others could have already destroyed their antennas, so obviously they’re going to split their forces as well. Divide and conquer… hopefully divide and fail.”

Niall raises an eyebrow. “Are you talking about us or them?”

Harry lets out a dramatic moan. “Stoooop. It’s a legit plan. Splitting up is, like, in our best interests and stuff.”

“When has splitting up ever worked out for anyone?”

“It worked out pretty well for my parents.”

“Why did you have to say that?”

Liam hushes everybody with a solemn look on his face. “Everybody, I just wanted to let you know if I die today and you guys live, Jaeia and Zayn can split my comics, Niall can have my toaster oven, Louis can have my lotions, and, Harry, you can have all those knit sweaters you’ve given me over the past few years for Christmas. Actually, you can have those even if we don’t die. A gerbil couldn’t fit those. Please don’t shop for me at the Baby Gap. I’m a grown man.”

“This is a shit show already,” Louis grumbles under his breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so don't hate me. I wrote this a few weeks ago and it seems like I can't finish this monster because I keep going off my outline but I lost my outline so this will definitely end next chapter then you'll get your probably disappointing boss battle.
> 
> I'll probably write it tomorrow.
> 
> But I just want to let you know that I had to take my ADHD medicine and chug a whole cup of coffee just to get this little bit done.
> 
> But yeah. Touch my butt.

**Author's Note:**

> yeah, it probably sucks. whatever. part two is next. it's where shit gets real.


End file.
